dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
