No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
