He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
