If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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