Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
