I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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