I wish i was in the wii world.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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