I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
