Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
