pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
