On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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