Apparently you make a good broom.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When did angry sex become our thing?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
