apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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