i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
