JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
