i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
