i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
