Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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