How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
