The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
3 2 1 whiskey
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
