I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
