no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
