i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
