I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
