Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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