She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
