Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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