i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
