shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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