This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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