i will never coherently bang her
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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