at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
