I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
