i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
