In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
