I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
