I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
