i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
