remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
