she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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