My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
