woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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