you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My vagina just recognized that song.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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