at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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