she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
