eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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