Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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