end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish you could order shots online.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
