she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
