he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
