Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
